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July 20, 2008
July 20th, 2008
This past week we had an important event in our family, when the BabyNames.com book authored by my daughter was published. The book was launched in Los Angeles and for many reasons I was not there and I had to come to grips with that.
With the airlines having so many delays and my nighttime discomforts I think I made the right decision. Still I felt a loss at not sharing this momentous occasion. It was almost like a "How can they do it without me?" sense of wonder (as in I am wondering).
She had her two of her three sisters there and many friends, even a cousin, but I wasn't there and that ticked me off something fierce. I think everyone else was able to make the adjustment so why not me? Then I realized it was because they were able to cope without me and wasn't that what I really wanted for all my children and grandchildren, too? After all that prepares them to take over as the heads of their own families.
So here it is. How dare they become so competent and learn to live their own lives so adequately and well when I am not in it? I am so proud of all of you, but my heart still hurts.
Love, their Mama and Grandma (and I suspect maybe even yours sometimes feel the same, dear readers)
May 5, 2008
May 5th, 2008
Today it is 74 degrees in Colorado and I have opened the front door, the back, sliding door to my deck, and any of the windows I have passed "commuting" from my bedroom in the rear of the house to my office in the front.
I had lunch this week with a friend who moved to this area to be near her daughter. We knew each other as young mothers in Evanston, IL, and met through a mutual friend when we were all involved in a women's center during the late 60's. We have stayed in touch, as good friends do, and it was grand to be able to do this in person.
Today I think of the time we, and millions of other young women, put into being able to have the privilege of choice: The choice to go out to work, the choice to stay home, without judgment. And yet I still have to wonder why there is a lingering gender gap of close to 25% in pay for women doing the same job as males. What is that about? Does being born with a womb make one less competent?
There are many single women who get no child support and find it necessary to work and support their family. And should we even have to justify the why of working anymore? I was positive all this nonsense would be over by the time my four daughters were adults, and here I am now, with grandchildren approaching adulthood, and still these discrepancies exist.
However, in this political scene we have both a woman and an African-American running for the right to be president, something I thought would never happen in my lifetime, so I see that progress was made and some of those hours working at the women's center paid off for us after all. And I also see that a lifetime is not enough time to set the world in a different direction for change. We do what we can do in our corner of the world and hope that others will do the same.
So I urge you to think about what you are doing today that will help your children and grandchildren. They will need your efforts after you are no longer here.
Meanwhile today is exquisite and I give thanks for this day and all the blessings in my life.
Again, wishing you the same.
GM
March 11, 2008
March 11th, 2008,
Today is the 15th birthday of my third grandchild and I am remembering the day she was born, I stood behind my daughter and watched her pop out and greet the world with a loud scream and a furrowed brow. I felt like one of those Russian dolls when I attended the birth. You know the ones I mean, where each time you opened a doll, a smaller one was inside.
The head that looked like an elongated, wet eggplant has now grown into a lovely young woman, and I am most grateful that I have lived to see my grandchildren reach this stage in their lives.
My first two grandsons have reached manhood. The first granddaughter has reached young womanhood and the second granddaughter, age 12, follows along brilliantly wanting to make her mark on the world. They live such a different life than I. None of us had an easy time of it when we were young and yet they have all made, or are making a decent, productive life for themselves.
I have heard it said that grandchildren are your reward for living through your own children's teen years. What a glorious reward I have been given!
I thank the Power that is for these four unique and wonderous blessings.
Wishing you the same.
GM
January 29, 2008
January 29th, 2008
Happy New Year to all of you who visit regularly and to those who visit occasionally and for those who are new here. A few weeks ago my cousin sent me the following and I think it's worth passing on for all to contemplate:
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
It's interesting for many reasons to me and one of them is an act that I try to pass on to all of you at times, which is to turn outward towards others, rather than inward worrying about yourselves. That probably seems like a contradiction, because I also think we must be introspective and know ourselves in order to get along in the world. However there are times we get so caught up in the subject of ourselves that we forget there are others who share our lives.
I see life like a play. We move forward and the spotlight hits us as we are the stars, and then we glide backwards and let someone else shine for a while. Both the stars and the supporting players must play their parts to the utmost to make the total a complete production. When someone enters my life even momentarily, like a wait person, I try to look at them and thank them for their help.
When I am in my wheel chair or walking with my cane and someone goes ahead and gets the door for me I stop and look at them and tell them, "Thank you, That was very kind." What I do and say is so insignificant, but how it is received by the other person amazes me. Usually there is a big smile as the words I have said penetrate and that person sees themselves as I just have seen them, and that's as a kind person who has made my world better that day. They are playing their part as a supporting role in my life to the best of their ability and I want then to shine. I also want to be the best supporting actor for their lives that I can possibly be.
So read it again and see how you can shine, both as the star and as the supporting player in life:
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
GM
December 18, 2007
Dear Friends,
Here it is with almost another Christmas and Hannukah upon us, as well as Kwanzaa and the winter holidays for those who celebrate the beautiful changing of seasons only, without a spiritual connection.
These yearly changes of nature, which always bring a feeling of renewal no matter the season, are as beautiful as most anything we experience and seem to stir up feelings of wanting personal change as well. Suddenly the New Year is creeping up and we are faced with both taking inventory of the past and looking forward to the future.
However it's important to not ignore the present, which often gets lost in all the rush of this season. I have learned through the years that the now of our lives disappears much too fast and if we are not vigilant in paying attention we lose a good part of our lives by worrying about something that hasn't happened yet or regretting something that is already over. It's an excellent way to not take inventory and see what we are doing to make today better for those around us.
No matter what the future holds or what has gone before, let's try to make today a bit better for those around us. Take a little time right now, this minute to appreciate all you have and to do something kind for a person in your life. Don't regret yesterday, don't plan it for tomorrow. Do it now. It's the little things that count.
Happy everything, especially today.
GM
October 23, 2007
Dear Friends,
There are times when I have problems settling my mind and my body to a space where I can relax and/or meditate. Often I need a release from the stress of everyday life. Even though I consider my life very blessed it comes with hard work and often taxing decisions. The other day I read something that intrigued me and I have gone on to try it several times. It has worked exceedingly well for me, and the people with whom I have shared it, so I thought I would share it with you.
It's difficult to still your mind and body to meditate and one day, with this in mind, a young person having this trouble met the Dalai Lama. The student asked the teacher, "How do I meditate." The Dalai Lama answered, "Just Smile." The student asked, "Is that all?" and the guru responded, "Smile quietly and smile with your entire body. Smile with your liver." That thought fascinated me so I tried it the next time I sought quiet and it was like I was awash with calm. If I have a lot of time or if I'm stressed, it seems to work both ways. My daughter said it seems to "redirect" her and that's as good an explanation as any. Where the emotions were perhaps headed into a negative space they now feel the joy of a smile and reverse to a calm and serene place. I just love it and hope it can prove helpful to any of you who are reading this and want to give it a try.
Blessing on your heads and hearts.
Love, GM
August 8, 2007
It's August and another Summer is slowly drawing to an end. Many of you are soon returning to school. I hope you had a lovely vacation and are taking with you some advanced knowledge from the last few months learned on your own. We learn from what others teach us and we learn from our own experiences and what we glean from them by ourselves.
My learning comes from reading and the new additional knowledge it brings to my life. As an example I learned a great deal about another culture, Afghanistan, from the book, "The Kite Runner" which was so moving and brilliantly written. Then this summer I read the author's newest book, "A Thousand Splendid Suns" and it expanded further to me on what it means to be in a culture so totally different from ours. I love a read that does that, tells a great story, is written well and brings me to a place so far from my own life, and this is what Khaled Hosseini does in his books.
If there is one thing I learned from my limited education it is that one's learning never stops; we also educate ourselves. I learn from books, I learn from my children and grandchildren, and I learn from all of you, and that is a gift waiting for every one of you. Pick it up and run with it. You will never regret it. Finish your Summer and take some knowledge back to school with you.
Love, GM
June 19, 2007
Today I am thinking about my aunt who was just ten years older than I. I never knew my life without her in it, and when she died a decade ago, I felt that part of me went with her. Tomorrow is her birthday and I still miss her, but the happy times we shared make me smile and be grateful that we found each other in this lifetime. Tomorrow also happens to be an important day for me and my family, so I ask my Marme to please guide us in our decision making, so that we follow the right road. I also have a granddaughter graduating from 8th grade tomorrow and moving on to High School in the Fall.
For dearest Mimi and all those others, I wish you the best of everything and may the sun always shine on you, and for the times it doesn't, I wish you good sense and the ability to cope with whatever occurs. And to all you graduates, remember please, watching your kids grow up and mature is difficult for a lot of us and reminds us how fleeting life is. Sometimes we get both cranky and sad at this thought. Another few years (or now if you are graduating from High School) you will be off to college, so cut the parents some slack, if they are yelling and/or crying more than usual, OK? This is hard on them, too.
Love you all and have a nice life.
GM
May 21, 2007
Dear Friends, Yesterday I saw a magnificent musical, "Wicked". It was very clever with great music and wonderful special effects. I am going to suggest that anyone of you who live near an urban area where it is playing, ask your parents if it's within the budget to see it. You might even offer to save some money and contribute to your ticket. You will never regret it. It's positively a mind blowing experience for all ages. We had three generations in our party and we all were very moved by the performance. I am still thinking about it 24 hours later.
Now that's theater.
Love, GM
May 16, 2007
Dear Friends,
Another friendly reminder came in the mail to update my blog. As all the readers see what I write daily, it's hard for me to wrap my head around the purpose of a blog. I assume it's supposed to be what I am doing and thinking, right?
Here's what has happened since the last writing. My family, all but my oldest daughter and two grandsons, came to visit over Easter and it was a great time for us. My family revitalizes me, as does connecting by either email or telephone with my old friends and cousins back in Illinois. It reminds me of other times and also that I am so fortunate to still have many friends still around and in touch with me.
My oldest friendship with Dodie goes back to second grade, 67 years come September, and it's hard to remember my life without her in it.. we still share our lives and thoughts and no one knows me better. She tells me I am the smartest person she knows and I tell her she is the most beautiful and has aged the most graciously. We both stretch the truth and we both know it.
I also volunteered on the phone bank for the PBS auction in our Rocky Mountain area, at the urging of my youngest daughter. She was right. Between my cane, my wheel chair and my portable oxygen tanks, I was able to make it, and then once there it was just a matter of answering the calls and taking bids. No one could see all my "accessories". I met lovely new people, always a good thing at any age, and it was satisfying to encourage donations to what I consider, an excellent cause.
The weather here in the Denver area is just perfect at this time of year. I have decided to stay here. I move around like a nomad, but I really never want to pack and move again as long as at least one of my daughters and a bonus grandchild are with me. And they are. I am feeling my bliss.
Wishing you the same.
Love Grandma Maggie
April 4, 2007
Someone wrote me reminding me that I might want to update my blog, and I immediately came to this spot.
I have had a busy few months the first part of this year, filled with health explorations and concerns, but in talking to all my friends my age, it's no less nor more than everyone in their eighth decade is experiencing. I feel fortunate that the work I do can be done by traveling down the hall from my bedroom to my office, an easy commute.
I live in the Denver area and we had extreme weather this past season with 7 or 8 weekend blizzards, starting before the holdays and lasting through January. Yet there are are those who suffered even more extreme weather and again, I am grateful for kind neighbors who shoveled me out and checked on me as well as my family in this area who were always here for me.
I am preparing now for a visit from my daughter and granddaughter from California, my daughter from Iowa who is bringing with her a friend who is one of my most favorite people, and my children's father and his mate who will join us all and spend a few days doing family things which means, eating, playing games and arguing. You know the drill. We also laugh a lot, which I think is our salvation.
So as I prepare for family and you all prepare for the Spring holidays, let's all join together and think about the renewal of the earth and know that we have no less of a chance to renew our lives and start over, aiming for whatever goals we want. Love yourselves as you would love a good friend. Love your family because they are your roots. Try to find time to love the unlovable and forgotten. You will get far more than you give.
My love to all of you,
Grandma Maggie
December 25, 2006
Dear Friends,
I want to wish all of you the joy of whatever holiday you and your family celebrate. I think most of them are based on love and family and that's always a good thing to remember. We are all really more alike than we are different.
I am so grateful for my daughters, my grandsons and my granddaughters. They fill my heart with happiness just thinking about them. My family and I have been very blessed this past year, and I am hoping you recieve the same kind of benefits, too. Of course the idea is to be able to recognize it when it's part of your life. So keep your eyes open.
Much love to all of you,
Grandma Maggie
September 2, 2006
Dear Friends,
Here it is Labor Day week-end and school is beginning for many of you this coming week. Some schools in the Midwest have even begun already. I wish you all a good and productive school year. Put some extra energy into this year. It's the only time in your life you will ever be in this grade and be this age. Don't waste it, OK?
I am wondering why I am getting so many letters that ask for a personal response, that you are not wanting to be published. There is no way anyone can know who writes a letter. The only reason I can see for a private answer is that it involves something others may not want to read. It's your choice and of course I will honor it, but think about if others can learn from it before you ask for it to be kept private. Many times there are an equal amount of private responses and even more each week. That's a lot of writing not being read by others.
One more reminder. I do not answer any letters regarding pregnancy or medical issues. Each time they come to me I have to delete them. Sorry.
OK for those of you going on to the next grade, make this your best year ever. Good luck!
XOXOX GM
July 24, 2006
Hi Friends,
Here we are with half of Summer already passed. What have you done with this time? I hope you can look back and say that there was at least one thing you did that added positively to your life or to someone else's.
Reading adds joy and opens an entire new world for you, so I am hoping you have visited your local library during this time off from school and read at least one or more books. Taking a Red Cross class is also beneficial if you are doing any baby sitting for extra cash. Volunteering at a hospital or at your library reading to kids also brings a great deal of satisfaction.
Many of you ask me how to build self-confidence. The answer to that one is to do acts that build self-esteem and you will feel your confidence growing. I think a great idea for males and females alike is to take a cooking class. We all should be able to cook for ourselves when we go out on our own. Also in this day of single parents and with perhaps both parents having to work outside the home, you could pick up some of the slack at home and do a few dinners a week. Imagine how pleased your folks would be with that!
If there are some older people in your neighborhood, ask if they need help with errands or chores. If the heat is intense where you live, make sure to check on older people and see how they are faring. Nothing makes you feel better than helping make someone else's life easier. Start with yourself, expand to your family and extend to your community. It benefits you, it benefits your family and it benefits your community.
Enjoy the time left before school.
XOXOX GM
June 12, 2006
Dear Friends,
My tech dept, whom I love dearly because she is also my daughter, set this up so I can keep in touch with both the writers and the readers, in answer to some of the questions asked of me.
So here we go:
"Why don't you answer my letters?"
This is a hard one because I don't always know what letters you are talking about. One person asked me this recently and signed her name. I realized she was a frequent writer, and each letter was very long. Nothing was capitalized and there was an immense amount of editing I needed to do for each letter. I chose to delete hers at that point because I didn't want to spend my allowed working time doing what she should have done herself. This would take time away from other letters I wanted to answer that were already in posting format. That is, the capitalization and punctuation were fairly accurate.
Here's another piece of information. I don't include letters that concern pregnancy. Mainly it's because I have no training to do so, and the pregnancy clinics and Planned Parenthood have very capable staffs ready to guide pregnant females. Also once a pregnancy is in effect, I feel the choices are there for the person to make and what I think or don't think has nothing to do with her life. I see the value of my advice to be before a pregnancy occurs.
Another thing I delete are those letters where the writer thinks they are being a big shot by using bad language, which really only proves their immaturity. Reading them makes me yawn and they will never be posted, so why bother?
There are other certain letters I never use, ones that describe bodily functions in a manner that can gross out other people (read boys), unless it's to be a private response.
Which reminds me, sometimes a person will write a letter that is interesting and I can answer it in such a way that I feel others may learn from it. Then I note that it asks for a private response. Why is that? Your privacy is never disclosed when a letter is posted and I will honor that. But if you have a choice why not have it posted if it would be of interest to others? You do have the option of choosing both, you know.
OH, one more thing and then that's it for today. I try to delete all names, even the ones that say, "let's call him --------" because I worry that someone is using a real name and we have no right to use another's name in a complaint or as part of our life story that will be made public.
So, my dears, that's it for today. I hope it helps you to understand why your letters may not have made the cut.
XOXOX GM
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